Parenting While Intoxicated - PWI

It can be as deadly as getting behind the wheel of a car after an all-night drinking binge.  Yet many parents dabble in it every day.  I am not just talking about the intoxication of alcohol.  There are many things in which parents indulge themselves to the point of impaired judgment or compromised mental capacity. And they don't think twice about the effects on their own kids. Abuse!  Physical and psychological. We see it in the news every day when people harm their children because of struggles with stress, depression, anger, rage, or neglect. I call this PARENTING WHILE INTOXICATED!

So why do I bring this up? You may ask me.. Are you suggesting new legislation to enact laws for regulating this so-called PWI epidemic?  No.. I believe government is already too involved in monitoring or enforcement of such things. (I have a story about this for another time.) What I want to do is encourage parents to think about their actions, their behaviors, their roles, their responsibilities, and their divine calling.  Divine calling?  What, you say? ......  More on this below.  I also want to encourage all to the kind of love for our friends and family to hold each other accountable in this area.  I believe this is much better handled by family and friends than the government could ever do.

I am GUILTY of PWI.  I am not proud to admit, that I have allowed myself to inflict harm to my own family and children because of selfish absorption into things to the point of intoxication.  Maybe not to an extreme, but hurtful behavior nonetheless.   I have made dumb decisions and choices at times. I have lost control of my anger at times.  I have neglected the needs of my kids.  I have seen others in my family and circle of friends who also struggle with this. I feel like perhaps I have learned from all of this and will do my best to avoid the same mistakes in the future.  Believe me, I have been through this over and over with God.  I believe I am forgiven and that he forgives others in the same way.  Isn't that wonderful to know?  Our God is forgiving!!  Hallelujah!!!

Today I awoke with this topic on my heart and I believe God was speaking to me. There is something significant to these thoughts I believe. At first I was a bit confused as to why this was on my mind and what I need to do with it.  During my hour-long drive in to work today, I prayed and contemplated on this.  I have always asked God in my prayers that He somehow show me the reasons for my desires.  Today, I told Him that I desire to use my life experiences for His purposes and if it be His will that I might share them with others in a meaningful way.  I also acknowledge to him that I don't desire for to gain myself any higher standing in the eyes of others or to be viewed as someone seeking praise for my expertise as a parent.  I just want to share my experiences with others like my own family, friends, and frankly, with as many people as possible, that they might learn from my past.  I pray only that sharing these thoughts would help God in His divine plan.

So, what better topic is there than this to be relevant to a large number of people?  It affects everyone on the planet.  Because we are all children... and many of us are parents.

It is not an easy topic to broach when you decide to intervene into someone's personal family affairs.  People are especially sensitive to their rights as a parent to raise their kids without being subject to criticism by others.  But rights are not the same as what is right ...BY GOD!!!!... We as parents, Christians, friends, family members who care about children have a responsibility to hold other parents accountable.  Am I swearing now?  No... what I mean is that By God's Own Inspired Word, we have some guidance to follow on the subject.  He has put the responsibility of parenthood clearly before us. This is our "Divine Calling".... by God!.  And not to leave anybody out, we as the children have responsibilities in this too. Isn't it amazing how God carefully constructed the family unit so that each of us (young and old) has important input?

In my next few blog posts, I plan to look into this deeper.  And I plan to explore at what the Holy Bible has to say.  Send me your comment if you have one to share.  Until next time.... don't fall into the PWI mistake.

Great News of this Season

 How often these days are we faced with news that saddens us?  We are sad and fearful because we can see only ....

• Pain
• Heartache
• Trouble Ahead

It seems such news is everywhere... much of it is from our own mistakes and sin.

My brother Eddie shared with me this link to a Sermon podcast preached last Sunday by his Pastor, Paul Kenley, at Grace Fellowship Church.  I would like to encourage you to take 30 minutes of your time and play this MP3 audio clip.  In fact, you don't even have to stop what you are doing.  Just play it and listen while you go about your routine chores or at work or in the car.  I believe you will be blessed if you do.

Click Here for the Great News! (mp3 - podcast)

This hits home with us this Holiday Season as we have recently had some dramatic news among seemingly adverse circumstances.  This message helps me see past the adversity, past the sin, past the troubled times that lie ahead.  This message helps me realize what GREAT NEWS we have before us!  Great News, even in the midst of all the messed up circumstances of this world.   

Won't you celebrate with me in joy and love as we...

Brace ourselves for the Grace that is to come?

Luke 2:10
¹⁰ But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people.

His love is for you and me

I really enjoy this song... He loves me anyway.... in spite of how I fail.  Jesus Loves me and He loves you.  Check out this video of the Sidewalk Prophets song.. with scenes from the movie The Passion of the Christ. 

Jesus loves you and wants to have a personal relationship with you.  In spite of who you are and what you have done.  He still loves you and wants to be your friend.  Here is another LIVE version... emotional performance.

USA - Established on the Christian Faith

The news media, Hollywood, and the general entertainment industry (for reasons I cannot understand) seems to be driven by evil forces.  Satan has our attention through these channels.  If you believe what you see on TV or read in the press, you'd think that this country is being overtaken by NON Christian beliefs.  Well... it just isn't so.  At least yet.  Check out the map below and see that there is hope for our nation.  Christians need not be discouraged but put on the armor of God and stand for HIS RIGHTEOUSNESS!!!  According to this survey, 79% of the people in our blessed country believes in Jesus Christ!!  Imagine that!  We are the majority in the United States of America...

This map gives you the percentage of Christians and all faiths in each state...

Click on the following link and see the different religions by state and elsewhere by moving the cursor over a state.  

http://www.usatoday.com/news/graphics/pew-religion-08/flash.htm

Our land is a dwelling place of God's Kingdom. So stand strong America! Do your part to keep it this way!!!

One final thought.... it says also that 16% of the people in our country are unafilliated and another 1% does not even know whether or not they believe in Jesus.  Christians... seek out these souls.  The time is ripe to spread the Gospel of Jesus Christ!!  It is not hard... all you need to do is show people how much He loves them.

Prayer: Dear Lord, Thank you for blessing our country and for placing us here in the awesome responsibility for its future.  Please forgive our nation for the awful sins we have committed... and please allow us the strength, the courage, the humility, the knowledge, and wisdom to continue seeking you.  Help us to realize our calling... to spread your gospel through our neighborhoods and serve our neighbors with your loving kindness.  Continue to watch over and guide America in your way. AMEN

Scripture: Psalm 33:12-19

 ¹² Blessed is the nation whose God is the LORD,
   the people he chose for his inheritance.
¹³ From heaven the LORD looks down
   and sees all mankind;
¹⁴ from his dwelling place he watches
   all who live on earth—
¹⁵ he who forms the hearts of all,
   who considers everything they do.

 ¹⁶ No king is saved by the size of his army;
   no warrior escapes by his great strength.
¹⁷ A horse is a vain hope for deliverance;
   despite all its great strength it cannot save.
¹⁸ But the eyes of the LORD are on those who fear him,
   on those whose hope is in his unfailing love,
¹⁹ to deliver them from death
   and keep them alive in famine.

Figuring out His Reason

I can hardly believe it has been almost 2 years since my last post here.  A lot has happened since then.  God continues to lead me down wonderful paths and has blessed my family with health and security and for this we are so thankful.  This year has been interesting as God has led me back into personal flying.  He has placed some wonderful people around me and these folks have helped bring my passion for old airplanes back. Our 1946 Taylorcraft is back in the air once again. It is truly a joy to share flying with my wife, family, and friends.  We are looking forward to some more opportunities to fly in the coming months.

Also, this year my dad passed away. From him I have inherited the gift of aviation.  He taught me to fly and introduced me to the world of old airplanes.  And he used them to teach me about life. I couldn't be more proud to be Dad's son. His life was an inspiration to me and continues to provide direction as though God is using the legacy of my father to help me find my way.  There's more to the story and I am beginning to see where God is taking me through this journey of life.  I am realizing that he is keeping airplanes in my life for a reason.  So now.. my job is to let Him use me and these airplanes for His purpose.  Stay tuned as we seek to figure this out!

My prayer:  Lord, I pray that you will speak to me and I will listen.


Scripture: 1 Samuel 3:10

  ¹⁰ The LORD came and stood there, calling as at the other times, “Samuel! Samuel!”

   Then Samuel said, “Speak, for your servant is listening.”

Long Distance Dad

Today, I began following a blog called "Long Distance Mother". I also added a link here to a website called "distanceparent.org". I am drawn to the stories of others in my unfortunate situation. I closely relate to these people who keep these internet sites going. Perhaps they, like me, feel a calling to talk about the issue of being a long-distance parent to help others who are going through it. Or maybe it is a sense that if we talk about it online, it may help other families find some way to avoid the difficult situation we are in. One thing is for certain, I want to tell people how I make it through from day to day. Being a long-distance dad has been the ultimate test of my soul. I couldn't have the strength to face it without my God of grace.

Every day my children are away seems incomplete. It has been over 3 months now since I have seen my middle daughter and son. In that time, he has turned 18 and is now considered a man. She is doing well, but lately has been fighting the H1N1 virus. I miss them dearly. And I am so looking forward to spending part of the Christmas Holiday with them. But that's still over a month away.

I always knew there would come a day when my kids would fly away from their nest... but I never planned on it happening this soon. I did not ask for this... I never dreamt this could happen to me. I love my children with all my heart and I know they love me. What a difficult thing it must be for them as well. In the days leading up to their initial departure to go live 500 miles away with their mother, and in the 2 years since then, I have come to know God in a way I had never known him.

He walked with me
He talked with me
He told me I am His own
He gave me peace.
And He taught me that He would take care of everything.
He taught me to trust Him.

What I have learned is that He is good.... He takes care of them and me.

Tomorrow, my daughter leaves to join her brother and sister with their mom in Kansas. And also the others will leave to spend the Holiday with their dad. I will miss them all so much. Yet I am good. It will be a unique opportunity for me to spend Thanksgiving alone with my sweetheart. We need the time together and God knows it. We look forward to sharing our thoughts on all the things He has blessed us with. We have much to be thankful for. So in the midst of all the pain and sorrow of this life as a long-distant parent... God Provides Peace. He is good!

The Big Question

Last month marked the 12th year since I began the most difficult stretch of road on this life journey.

To those of us who have lived through the horror of divorce it is a most spectacular and earth shattering event that literally changes the way we live, and love, and dream, and pursue happiness. They say divorce in the U.S. is finally on a decline. But for way too many of our society, divorce has become such a routine part of life. For most, divorce is total destruction of the home, of the family unit, of a lifestyle, of all hopes and dreams. Sadly for some, it is so devastating that the future looks too dark and too dim to be worth living for.

But to me, the experience of divorce was an awakening. It caused me to seek out the answer to the question. Where was God when I needed Him? I could not believe this happened to me. And God let it happen! I felt as though He had totally abandoned me. I was just a regular middle-class American boy. A boy who was introduced to God at a young age, but who still really didn't know Him. I was a boy who thought I was a man, but looking back, I see that I knew little about what manhood really meant. I was and I still remain a person with hopes and dreams for me, for my life, for my children, and for all of the lives we touch. Looking back... I see that I really had never sought a relationship with Him. I was a boy who never really became a man until I sought and found the answer to the question.

Not unlike thousands of others, Divorce struck my life with an awesome power and with a mighty vengeance. It caught me in my prime of life. It came, seemingly out of nowhere! It tore at the very heart and soul of my being. It tested me in ways that only Satan could have conjured up. Divorce attacked my home, my lifestyle, my family. It broke me down to the lowest level of human emotional tolerance. It shattered my hopes and dreams and made me question my reason for living.

I know the experience has also wreaked the same havoc upon my former spouse and upon our children. It would be impossible for me to put into words exactly how it was dealt to the kids or to her, because they are the only ones who experienced it from their perspective. For this reason, I know I will never understand my "ex's" actions throughout the ordeal. At times I never even realized that she was enduring the pain. And later I came to see it in her eyes and to feel it in the way she spoke to me. I know that she suffered. I know that she, like me, is healing in her own good time and in her own way. Surely we will all carry the scars along with us for the rest of our lives.

Some of us have to learn the hard way. But I now know that God is good and merciful. He loves me and His grace is abundant. And I am so blessed. I can now see that God blessed me through the trials of divorce and continues molding me and teaching me every day.

I did re-marry seven years ago to the love of my life, Leann. My life is so much richer and full nowadays. Together we travel this road and what a joy it is to share. We still face difficulties and some are terribly hard. But together we strive. I thank Leann for all that she means to me... yet words can never describe how much that is.

So.. back to this blog. I have a lot to say in future posts. I write about events that affect my faith. As you see, I come from a background of sin and difficulty, though maybe not as difficult as many other folks. I write from the perspective of an average white, middle-class, divorced, reformed, follower of Jesus. I do not claim to know all of the answers. I am simply seeking each day for God's grace. I imagine there may not be many who ever read this blog. Maybe no one. That's OK too, because when I am posting, it seems as though I am able to clear my thoughts and grow closer to God in my faith. But for those who do read this, I hope you are somehow encouraged and are able to learn from my experiences as and to think about similar situations in your life. I challenge you to always seek God’s plan for your life, to ask for His help, and grow your faith in Him toward an everlasting life in heaven.

OH... and about that big question. I am happy to say that I have learned the answer. He has been here the whole time! More on that later.

Goodbye for now.

:)